I always seem to find beauty in every single thing but myself.
That's normal, right?
It's been a rough week for me, my wisdom teeth are starting to push all my teeth together, so every other day my mouth simply aches for hours... Hopefully setting up an appointment soon, but seeing as I have zero dental coverage I'll be paying for this for a while...
Heat in the car went out, as I was driving home from a friends at 1am... Not a fun experience. Put some oil and coolant in her and the heat was better, but I dropped her off for an oil change and the mechanic is gonna take a look...
I love my stratus, she's been there for me when I needed her and gotten me to where I need to be, but she's 13 years old and has over 187k miles, and I doubt she'll last me another year...
Thanksgiving is next week, and it's looking like it's just going to be my mother and I... Depressing huh?
And yay! Christmas! Only this year, not really. The only person in my immediate family that is financially well off is my father, so Christmas has basically been cancelled. woot...
I'm a pretty upbeat person, but there have been so many negatives pushing me down recently...
It's become harder and harder for me to look at myself and think "Pretty!"
Even now that i've (sorta) learned to apply makeup, I just seem to find flaw after flaw after flaw... WTF?!
I didn't used to be like this, I mean sure I didn't think I was hot shit or anything like that, but I always thought I was adorable... Now i feel just "Bleh"
I'm not trying to complain to you guys, or get some sympathy or a pity party... Please no pity party, I hate them, I just wanted to get it all out there... I didn't want to keep just mulling it over in my head for the next few months.
One (possibly) good thing has happened though, my best friend (who I recently stopped talking to, due to her getting back together with her heroine addicted, drunk abusive ex) recently got back in touch with me, apologizing for how she pushed me away when I was just trying to be a good friend.
He's out of rehab, and has been working full time and helping her fix up an apartment they just began renting, and he's been clean and sober for two months now... So i'm happy for them, and I hope he can stay on this path. So, with time I think i'll have my best friend back.
Here's hoping you guys have wonderful holidays this year, get to see your family this Thanksgiving and Christmas, and give and receive gifts from the ones you love!
I love you guys, you've kept me sane. I mean that...
