The way I work.

As most of you know, I'm more of a loner than anything else.

I keep to myself, only allowing a few people who have managed to get on my good side to spend time with me. I work best alone, rather than in a group. When i'm in a group, I tend to let people work how they like, and I simply pick up the slack. After working with a group, I don't feel pride in whatever we have worked on, as in my eyes it hasn't come from me.

It's the same reason I don't have many tattoos, i'm not willing to have something on me that isn't from me and only me. I don't want to give an artist an "idea" and then they whip something up for me, I want to design and create every single detail. It is going to be MINE AND MINE ALONE.

Perhaps that's a flaw of some sort, to be honest I'm sure it's gotten in the way of accomplishing some things in my life. But I really enjoy it. I love being able to be proud of something that comes only from me, my brain, my hands, my mind, my idea. It's wonderful, though happens rarely since I often abandon halfway through after deciding that I'm simply not good enough for the task I've put out for myself.

One way in which it deters me is in camming, I hate camming when there are people in the house. Sleeping people I can deal with, but would rather not. I prefer to cam when i'm 100% alone. Some of you may remember my old apartment, that was me when I was alone... I feel like It was more fun back then.

Perhaps another reason I used to have more fun on cam, was that I didn't have an HD cam. I know that I don't broadcast in HD, because my netbook doesn't quite have the strength to do so, but on my own screen I still see a very clear and detailed broadcast of myself. Maybe most models don't do this, but I watch myself very closely while I cam. It's very important to me to know exactly what i'm putting out there, and it's exhausting. If i feel like i don't look good, i don't feel good. No matter what anyone in chat is saying, my opinion of myself reigns supreme, and impacts how i feel about both the camming session and my own looks. Back when I was just using my netbooks webcam, minor details that i would normally scrutinize wouldn't be visible to me. Besides using the lesser cam, I also didn't have my monitor, and thus saw myself much smaller, making details less obvious to me. Shrugs.

Camming is really the worst job in the world for me. One day i'll make really great money just hanging out and having fun, then 3 days later no one seems to be interested in tipping and I'm making minimum wage trying to convince people to buy videos... But i love you guys, so i'm sticking with it. Atleast until I somehow manage to figure out what I really want to do in life and find myself a real job. Ha.

Alright fuckers, thanks for hanging in there with me.
I wonder how many people will read this entire thing.
Tweet me the word "Cuntosaurus" and i'll post a video of me taking a huge bong hit for the first time in 2014 and send it to you.
Love youuuuuuuuu!!!


<3 zoos